This whole Mitt iPhone mess would not have happened if Steve Jobs were around to exert quality control

The Twitters are abuzz * this morning, mocking the Mitt Romney brain trust for submitting an iPhone app that allows users to customize campaign poster with an image of their choice and the slogan "A Better Amercia."

Their is much revelry to be had.

Hurry, kiddies, download your *FREE* app today, before the Kenyans running Cupertino stop guffawing long to yank off the "With Mitt" boner and replace it with an update.

 * From the Twitters (#Amercia):

This wouldn't happen if Mitt Romney outsourced his iPhone app to a company outside the US. Oh wait, maybe he did.

Romney app didn't misspell America... He was sending code indicating who really runs AmerCIA.

Mitt Romney didn't misspell "America." He expects us to beg for "merci" very soon.

Mitt Romney misspelled America on his new app, which is no big deal until he invades Iraq when he meant Iran.

If you're applying for a job, and you misspell the name of the company you want to work for, you won't get that job.

Some poor app designer is getting strapped in a cage on the top of a car and driven across country tonight.

Stupid Romney campaign misspells America in stupid iPhone app

Oh, my, "Amercia" will surely go to the dogs if Mitt is elected, because his campaign cannot even spell correctly the name of the country their candidate wishes to lead.

The Mitt campaign thought it had the first and last laugh because it did not allow iPhone users to customize the text in its lame app, the way John McCain did when he did a "Joe the Plumbe"r web interactive that foolishly allowed people to plug in nonsense like "I'm Patty the Abortionist and I Support John McCain."

This whole app is one giant abortion, and I will not update it until after November 6.

How the Obama camp plans to beat Romney like a gong

John Heilemann in New York magazine:

Romney really, actually thinks that if you just take care of the folks at the top, it’ll trickle down to everybody else,” says another Obama operative. “But no one believes that stuff—no one! And once you puncture that, there’s nothing left. He’s not likable. He’s not trustworthy. He’s not on your side. You live in Pittsburgh and you’ve got dirt under your fingernails, who do you want to have a beer with? It ain’t fucking Mitt Romney. You’re like, ‘Shit, I’d rather have a beer with the black guy than him!’ ”

Shit, I'd rather have a (FILL IN YOUR OWN DISGUSTING DRINK HERE) with the black guy than him.

(The whole article is essential reading.)

Web detective conclusively proves that Obama did not orchestrate the hit on Osama because he was busy chasing tail with Tiger Woods

Leave it to the American Spectator to clear up one of the most mystifying puzzles of this millennium: How on God's gtreen earth could Barack Obama mastermind the death of Osama bin Laden when we all know the two were in cahoots together to destroy America.

Answer: He did not.

Proof: This startling series of images from inside the Situation room that demonstrates that the entire photo op was just one giant Photoshop opportunity for the White House to pull the wool over America's eyes.

A fifth-grader with a laptop coukd do better! Oversized suit coat! Transparent ears! Goofy reflections in the glass! Floating hand!

Who are you going to believe? The Kenyan Muslim? Or your lying eyes?

So where was the hoodwinker-in-chief when this phoney whole baloney-mission was going down?

Counterfeiting a fake birth certificate?

No, he was out on the golf course, constructing an alibi for when the mission, which was not real anyway, went horribly wrong because the SEALs hate him.

Know who else hangs out on the golf course? Tiger Woods. Put two and two together.

Tom Corbett talks out his ass, blames Obama for not sending him more stimulus money

Tom Corbett made a grand huzzah at a dinner held by the Greater Reading Chamber of Commerce & Industry, and you knew these industry titans would gobble up every word faster than the rubber chicken.

"You want jobs!"

"FRACKING!"

"You want more teachers!"

"Pay $900 a year more in taxes, suckers."

The budget crisis, like everything else, is all President Obama's fault.

The governor said so:

We received money from Washington. It was called stimulus money. That money was put into the budget. It was put into education. The money disappeared. The federal government said it was one-time money, and for the first time when they said it was one-time money they meant it.

After happily bullshitting the audience of 700, Corbett avoided the crowd outside the Sovereign Performing Arts Center protesting cuts in education funding by using a rear entrance, and then galloping straight to a private reception to meet with the people who really matter.

Cory Booker may chair important crime powwow demanded by morning newspaper

It must have happened too late to make deadline, but there is nothing in today's Reading Eagle about the decisions that are being made behind the scenes about who will serve on, and who will lead, the conference on crime that the newspaper determined will end crime in Reading, forever, once local big shots sit down in a big room and jawbone about it.

Strangely, there's not even a mention in today's article about how the mayor and council are getting into lock step to start the ball rolling on this mission from God Harry Deitz. How many more innocent people must die while city officials sit on their hands? Or was reporter Don Spatz asleep at his notebook?

Sources, however, say there was heavy movement behind the scenes. The name on everyone's lips to head the committee is Newark Mayor Cory Booker.

"Cory would bring a measure of true bipartisanship to this endeavor," said one insider with his finger on the pulse of city government. "Right now, the Democrats hate him, and after Cory continues to retreat from his reckless remarks about the Bain attack ads, the Republicans will despise him just as fully."

One of the mayor's allies said Vaughn Spencer completely endorses the choice.

"I think it was the shaved head that did it," the source said.

 Full steam ahead!

GOP trogs queue up to own a little piece of Ronald Reagan

How much would you give up to own a vial of dried blood that came from the veins and corpuscles of America's greatest president, Ronald Wilson Reagan?

A million gazillion dollars? ninety-nine cents? Ninety-nine hundred dollars? Your firstborn and all your wife's tiny kittens?

Well, the bidding is on, and $9,900 is the high bid. Better look into cashing those 401(k)'s early, kids.

Here's the poop:

A British auction house claiming to have a vial containing President Ronald Reagan’s dried blood has angered the late Republican’s nonprofit foundation, which is threatening to block its sale....

PFC Auctions listed a high bid of more than $9,900 late Monday, with final offers being accepted online through Thursday. The website says the “dried blood residue from President Reagan (1911-2004) can be seen clearly in the vial with a quarter-inch ring of blood residue at the end of the inserted rubber stopper.”

The president’s blood was supposedly gathered in 1981, following the assassination attempt on his life outside of a Washington, D.C., hotel. He was sent to George Washington University Hospital, where doctors tended to a gunshot wound and punctured lung....

PFC Auctions says the vial was obtained from a man whose mother worked for Bio Science Laboratories in Columbia, Maryland, and performed the president’s blood work in order to test for lead. A letter by the man claims she asked a superior if she could keep the vial.

The man said he contacted Reagan’s foundation about three months ago to ask about whether they’d want it, but a federal agent claimed to not be interested and suggested returning it to the Reagans.

The mind boggles at the infinite possibilities.

If you can be the one to clone the Gipper, you can save the GOP!