Kate Gosselin launches new website to whine and beg for money

"Kate + 8" is dead, but KatePlusMy8.com is live.

The menu of sections include Upcoming Events (nothing but a photo of Her Highness and the words "Coming Soon"), "Ask Kate" (er, "Coming Soon"), "Inspiration" (Kate and the kids with Taylor Swift and more "Coming Soon"), "Lovable Products" (dear God - "Coming Soon"), "Kate + Rumors" (that one should fill up fast -- soon) and "Find Kate a Job" (just kidding on that one).

In her kickoff blog entry, the talentless ex-TV star says the website is intended to fill the "void left in the hearts of many" after the ratings for her fake reality series tanked and TLC mercifully pulled the plug. Kate is now left to fend for herself, hoping against all odds that someone else will hire her to continue "TV work." As what? A WWF villainess? Talk-show hosteses have to be likable. Being a mom does not make one a celebrity. Meanwhile, the callous ice queen insulted working parents everywhere by saying that Jon is "mediocre" for working a "normal" job. (She then tried to backtrack on Twitter.)

While Kate has turned on the waterworks over the fact she no longer has a job, she went out and bought an Audi sports car -- just the thing you need when you have eight kids.

Maybe Obama's American Jobs Act will be able to lend her a hand.

Kate Gosselin just might be the new face the GOP needs

Rick Santorum, a career legislator, kicked off last night's Cut Taxes for the Wealthy/Create New Jobs Conference on CNN by touting his executive experience. This amounts to balancing the budget in his own household, which includes one wife and seven children. (Presumably, this could be accomplished by slashng dental care and education for the little Santorums, if these were not already covered under daddy's sweetheart government packages.)

If Santorum's criteria for running the government were the correct signposts -- hell, Herman Cain explained how he would screen Cabinet members by describing the hiring process at his pizza chain -- then the perfect GOP candidate would be Kate Gosellin.

She has one more baby than little Ricky. We know she's tough as nails for how she browbeat Jon. She knows how to work the camera. She creates jobs, for nannies, lawyers, tabloid photographers, pedicurists, bodyguards, travel agents. She's more popular than, oh, say, Donald Trump. And since she still earns 250K per episode, she'd want to cut taxes on the rich, too.

She's tanned. She's ready.

It's Katie bar the door!

Be sure to tune in tonight at 10 for "E! The True Hollywood Story" doc on Kate Gosselin

I should better be among those interviewed.