"Pull da string! Pull da string!"

Those immortal lines were muttered, for no good reason, by Bela Lugosi over a herd of stampeding buffalo n Ed Wood's immortal "Glen or Glenda." Substitute elephants for the bison and the "nuclear option" for da string and we are maybe were we should have been at today's presidential press conference, where Barack Obama again pretended he was negotiating with an opposition party that is serious about negotiating over the debt-ceiling impasse.

Pull da string! Pull da string!

The nuclear option is the solution under the 14th Amendment to the United States Constitution, which clearly states “The validity of the public debt of the United States…shall not be questioned.” Ergo, the debt-ceiling statute is trumped by the document the teabaggers hold most sacred, and negotiations can resume without the American economy held hostage.

The president could have said something like this: "Look, reducing the deficit is a major priority for this administration. But we cannot allow the financial markets to operate under uncertainty while Congress and the White House work out the details of a deficit-reduction plan. Following my oath to uphold the Constitution of the United States, I am authorizing the Treasury secretary to contain to sell securities, as necessary, to maintain the good faith and trust of our nation's credit."

Put that in your teapot and steep it.

Instead, Obama acted like he was the only grownup in the room, which maybe he was. But when you're the only party agreeing to compromise, sooner or later you're going to get rolled.

In fact, just about the only concessions from the rich folks under the Obama plan would be an end to oil-company subsidies and slashing tax breaks for corporate-jet owners. Who are we talking about here? Arnold Schwarzenegger? And exactly how much do jet-set loopholes contribute to the deficit anyway?

Then right after Obama made his pitch for everyone to sacrifice some "sacred cows" -- vegans come out looking pretty good so far -- Eric Cantor vowed again that the House Republicans won't budge one inch.

So where is the GOP going with this game of chicken?

1. They'll allow the government to default and roll the global economy into recession. While the outcome may be tempting -- they'd love to cripple Obama so Jesus Bachmann can ride her donkey elephant into Jerusalem Washington in 2012 -- they still are the party of Wall Street and their buddies may not cotton to financial holocaust.

2. They'll compromise on "revenue enhancements." The White House has been tossing around that euphemism, but to the Tea Party cultists this will still smell like a duck.

3. They'll back away from the abyss at the 11th hour and agree to a debt-limit extension...with insufficient budget cuts to put a dent in the deficit, but no tax hikes. This is the most likely scenario. The Tea Party can claim victory -- a big victory if the Dems cave at all on Medicare -- and then the GOP can start their huckster act all over again by saying more cuts are needed, and if the Democrats won't slaughter more sacred cows threaten to gridlock more Capitol Hill business, like Obama appointees to courts and federal agencies.

It's past time for Obama to let go of the myth of bipartisanship.

Pull da string!