Smelly Chinese restaurant opening soon, in my neighborhood

Pennsiders who will lose their licenses for DUI convictions over the holidays can delight in knowing that a Chinese takeout joint will open up early next year on Carsonia Avenue, saving connoisseurs a trip down Exeter way to China Penn. But not everyone in Mount Penn and points nearby is delighted at the prospect of wolfing down meals from fast, convenient cardboard containers.

No, three residents descended on the Mount Penn Zoning Hearing Board to squawk that owner Guo Ju Lin's ethnic eatery will send the smells of Moo Goo Poo-Poo Fuk U wafting through their homes and will attract all sorts of menacing pests, such as mongooses and other vile rodents.

To which I can only say, vegan food doesn't stink. And rats won't touch the stuff either.