Jesus H. Christie! Mike Bloomberg is so not going to be president, and neither is the lampoonable Christmas vacationer

Chris Christie ponders calling in Joe Eppihimer to handle the snow removel operationHAHAHA. It snowed in New Yawk, and Mike Bloomberg was peeved that he didn't have any football games to cancel so he decided he wasn't going to pull on his galoshes and shovel out Queens, and Kos can't his heating oil delivered and his cable is kaput and now Mike Bloomberg certainly will not be the centrist candidate standing between Kenyan socialist Obama and mammal slayer Palin in 2012. The good news, Bloomie won't spend $500 million of his own loot to finish third.

Meanwhile, NJ Guv Chris Christie continues his Disney World vacation, comparing girth size with Dumbo, while the Pollution State digs out from under ten feet of snow and the fat bastard's lieutenant governor catches some rays in New Mexico.

They are both so screwed.

Salon seizes the moment:

Bloomberg and Christie are similar political animals, despite superficial differences. Bloomberg is prickly where Christie is belligerent. Mike's primary weapon is withering sarcasm, while Christie just out-shouts the other guy. Fastidious Bloomberg would ban fast food if he could, while Christie uses his weight to prove his "regular guy" bona fides. But both sell themselves as consummate managers, able to run government as efficiently as a small business. Both proclaim themselves unbeholden to special interests, while both imagine that the role of government is to not get in the way of the virtuous, job-producing rich. They're both rich, accustomed to the better things in life, and largely unfamiliar with and incurious about how the other half lives.

Bloomberg was probably at his Bermuda weekend estate while this storm was gathering -- though he was smart enough to make it back into town in time for a press conference yesterday. Christie, idiotically (he hasn't been at this as long as Mayor Mike), is in Florida. Even more idiotically, his lieutenant governor is in Mexico. (The lieutenant governor position was just recently created in order to avoid situations like this. A Democratic state senator is in charge of storm response.)

So New Jersey's tough-talking, take-no-prisoners governor is literally at Disney World while dozens of vehicles remain strapped on highways and some post offices are unable to deliver the mail. The worst part is that Christie left on Sunday, when the storm was on its way up the coast and his Lt. Gov. was already in Mexico. Christie's already less popular in Jersey than his non-Jersey-residing admirers would have you believe, and this embarrassment certainly won't help.

See, things aren't so bad here in Reading. Your cable was working and you could watch the Eagles last night...oh, well, never mind.