Fountain lady was in the movies

Yeah, baby, yeah.

(Hats off to Mimi for the tip.)

Obama urged to host Rose Garden meeting with fountain lady and mall security to end national crisis

Developments are coming hot and heavy in the story everybody is talking about, Cathy Cruz Marrero and her fountain tumble and the most famous movie clip since the Zapruder film.

• The View, Inside Edition and Fox are all looking to milk the story to the max.
• Sadly, the security guard who posted the YouTube video has been fired. He will probably sue.
  
• Fountain lady may consider hiring an attorney with more experience in these type of negligence cases.
• TV tour allowed fountain lady to postpone court case on felony charges, including making fraudulent credit-card charges.
  
• Would Cruz Carrero's bruised leg be covered if Obamacare were repealed? Does anybody dare ask? Does anybody care?
  
• Notorious cell phone would sell like soggy hotcakes on eBay, if it weren't stolen.
• Four words. "Dancing With the Stars"
  

Fountain lady goes on national TV to tell how totally embarrassed she is

Gawd, can't this clumsy oaf's 15 minutes of fame be over already. This morning, Cathy Cruz Marrero went on "Good Morning, America" to wimper in a cracking voice about how nobody went to her aid after she fell in the water, got up and strolled away. Her attorney was on the teevee, too, poised to litigate. Cruz Marrero said she's just lucky the fountain wasn't empty or that she didn't walk into a bus. She is already more annoying than the Gosselins.  Can't the court suspend her texting account and send her to a safe texting school?

Lady who did a pratfall in the fountain may sue Berkshire Mall, for laughing

The doofus who fell in a fountain while texting in the Berkshire Mall has stepped forward. Her name is Cathy Cruz Marrero and she is so mortified and humiliated that she just had to grant an interview to a reporter at the local newspaper and have her picture taken, which the newspaper will then sell to you or emblazon it on a coffee mug. In fact, Cathy is so shaken that she already is all lawyered up and ready to sue the asses off the people who mocked her on the security tape and posted it on YouTube.

Her attorney, James M. Polyak, said he plans to conduct an investigation into what happened.

"We are troubled by the fact that anyone at the Berkshire Mall responsible for releasing this video would find humor in an employee injured on the premises," Polyak said.

"We intend to hold the appropriate persons responsible. No one from that security office came to her aid in a timely manner."

This is serious business. Those security people should have run down and brought her a towel and a bucket of dry ice to dry off her cell phone or maybe treat her to a nice lunch. Instead, they cackled like hyenas over the dumb broad's plight. This is not how things should be in Obama's America.

Dummy tumbles into fountain while texting at Berkshire Mall

Methinks it's a setup. Why else would somebody be aiming their cell phone at that exact moment. But it's viral...and this site says it's a security-camera video...and the Berkshire Mall is in Massachusetts. Jeezus. Script here.