School districts won't let their children listen to Barack Obama because he may recruit them for his Hitler youth brigade

The president wants to talk to America's school children, live, about the importance of education, and paranoia is sweeping the heartland.

And Berks County, too.

"He's recruiting his civilian army," someone wrote at the Free Republic forum. "His 'Hitler' youth brigade."

"I am not going to compare President Obama to Hitler," wrote a blogger at the AmericanElephant.com blog, thereby mentioning the elephant in the room "We'll leave that to others and you can form your own opinions about them and their analogies."

Others feared Johnny would come home bowing to Mecca and reciting the Koran.

Berks County schools are a little less extreme. A little.

Boyertown, Daniel Boone, Exeter, Schuylkill Valley and Wilson have announced policies where teachers and administrators will tape the speech and pour over it for hidden code and socialist messages before deciding whether it's suitable for general audiences. During this review, the kids will be allowed to listen to rapper Ludacris, play Resident Evil 4 or watch Rob Zombie horror films on their iPhone.

Educators call it their own "public option." Heh, heh.

Dr. Beverly Martin, the Exeter superintendent, perhaps framed the "controversy" most stupidly.

"It's a tough call, and we just don't have enough information about this," she said.

"This" refers to "more details and the length of the speech."

The details are that the President of the United States wants to talk directly to students "about the importance of persisting and succeeding in school."

The length is a planned 18 to 20 minutes, according to the U.S. Department of Education, but I'll cite a link on a Fox News channel if that will make these jackasses stop hyperventilating.

And at Conrad Weiser, parents will have the option of excusing their sons and daughters from listening to President Obama.

As an alternative, the children can sip tea and watch a videotape of President Bush reading "My Pet Goat"