There are so many, many things Barack Hussein Obama will not release

Forget about the birth certificate. That's only the tip of the paper trail. Here are some of the other docs that crackpot Alan Keyes wants the president to release in order to determine whether he was born on one of Jupiter's outer moons and thus is ineligible to serve in the Oval Office. Write your congressman NOW!

  • Passport files
  • University of Chicago Law School scholarly articles
  • Harvard Law Review articles
  • Harvard Law School records
  • Columbia University records
  • Columbia University senior thesis, "Soviet Nuclear Disarmament"
  • Occidental College records, including financial aid that he may have received
  • Punahou School records, where Mr. Obama attended from the fifth grade until he finished high school
  • Noelani Elementary School records, where Barack Obama attended kindergarten (according to the Hawaii Department of Education, students must submit a birth certificate to register -- but parents may bring a passport or student visa if the child is from a foreign country)
  • Complete files and schedules of his years as an Illinois state senator from 1997 to 2004
  • Obama's client list from during his time in private practice with the Chicago law firm of Davis, Miner, Barnhill and Gallard
  • Illinois State Bar Association records
  • Baptism records
  • Obama/Dunham marriage license
  • Obama/Dunham divorce documents
  • Soetoro/Dunham marriage license
  • Soetero/Dunham adoption records