You must -- MUST -- resist the urge to pick up the next little person you see!

If little people have their way, only jackasses will use the word "midget."

That's the goal of the Little People of America, who have launched a crusade to have the FCC ban the M-word.

What rankled the wee folks is an episode of "Celebrity Apprentice," hosted by the short-fingered vulgarian Donald Trump. One of the contestants, the hideous plastic-faced Joan Rivers, suggested bathing the defenseless little people in detergent and hanging them out to dry.

Said Clinton Brown, 27, of Hicksville, who co-chaired the LPA conference in Brooklyn: "Growing up as a little person, because you're different, you experience the ups and downs of some cruelties and prejudices. How many times have people I don't know come up to me and wanted to pick me up?"

If Sassy Cassie, the 2-foot, 9-inch dynamite stripper who frequently headlines at Al's Diamond Cabaret, is reading, please share your thoughts.

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