Clamor grows for White House to extend equal rights to insects

So there he was, Barack Obama, chatting up a CNBC guy on the TV Wednesday, when this massive insect, possibly infected with malaria by the dittoheads who wish him to fail, buzzed around Obama's face and swooped down for the kill. After brushing it aside, the preident nimbly squashed it with one Ninja-like move and went on with the interview.

So in swoops PETA spokesman Bruce Friedrich, berating the president for crushing the insect, which an autopsy revealed to be a fly.  Friedrich said Obama should never have slain the "winged fairy" (PETA's designation of choice for insects, much like PETA wants fish referred to as "sea kittens"). Instead. Friedrich said Obama should have continued to brush it aside, just as he did the gay community yesterday.  PETA sent the prez a free Katcha Bug trap to keep handy the next time he does a sitdown with Anderson Cooper at a White House picnic.

"President Bush allowed trillions of mosquitoes live in New Orleans after Katrina," Friedrich pointed out. "Sometimes doing nothing is the best policy."

All of this left Obama in a terrible dilemma. Will the Republicans filibuster his efforts to provide funding for Katcha Bugs for our forces in Iraq and Afghanistan?  The traps sell for $8 each, and they'll need some jumbo ones to catch those nasty Iraqi scorpions.

And what would happen if Malia or Sasha discovered a tick on Bo's back? As far as I can tell, PETA doesn't yet offer a tick extractor that can humanely remove the engorged bloodsucker and safely return him to its national habitat.  Will there be enough time for the National Science Foundation to invent one before tick season is in full swing? Health care reform will just have to wait.

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