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Al Walentis

For more than four years, Al Walentis wrote the best-read blog on the Reading Eagle Web site. Now independently published and more awesome than ever, Al's new blog continues in the tradition of providing zesty commentary on politics, pop culture and all the crazy stuff going on in the Greater Reading area.

Wednesday
10Mar2010

TV station orders broadcaster babe to purge racy Tweets

DateWednesday, March 10, 2010 at 10:04AM

Chloe Everton goes on the TV for Sky Sports News, but she's been entertaining her followers in more creative ways.

Chloe has mastered the deft art of composing sports-based double-entendres, adhering to a strict 140-character for posting on Twitter.

Some samples:

Commenting on a recent Premier League match, she wrote: ‘(Rory) Delap is using a towel to mop up some of the wet ready for those long thrusting balls into the box.’

Another said: ‘Golf today. Played with three boys. I came first, must have been down to good length.’

One posted earlier this year stated: ‘The sign on the ticket machine I am at says: “slot out of action”. I know the feeling.’

Unfortunately, her bosses failed to grasp the humor in the risqué Tweets. Something about how the station wouldn't be taken seriously anymore. Poor Chloe had to clean out and clean up her Twitter account.

Sad, so sad.

AuthorAl Walentis | Comment7 Comments |
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Wednesday
10Mar2010

Tricky wineries lure vegans into consuming disgusting animal products

DateWednesday, March 10, 2010 at 08:27AM

Committed vegans may be gagging upon reading Steven Kolpan's piece in Salon that exposes the filthy animal pollutants that corrupt the precious gape from the vine as it ferments into fine wine:

The fact is that while an increasing number of wines are technically vegan, a substantial number of wines still use animal-based products in the "fining" process: clarifying the wine by removing proteins, yeasts and solid materials that would otherwise make the wine cloudy and visually unappealing, or would even create off-flavors or aromas. Fining agents act as magnets for unwanted materials, and carry the glop to the bottom of the barrel or tank. Then the wine is "racked" -- poured off into another holding container, where the wine is separated from the solids. Racking is just like decanting, except on a humongous scale.

Fining agents typically used in wineries include egg whites, egg proteins, or casein (milk proteins). So far, this is good news for lacto-ovo vegetarians, but not for strict vegans. However, common fining agents also include gelatin (produced from animal bones), isinglass (made from fish bladders), and chitin (lobster and crab shells). And, while it's illegal in both France and the United States, some wine producers will even use bull's blood to fine their wines.

Bull's blood. Rut-row.

AuthorAl Walentis | CommentPost a Comment |
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Wednesday
10Mar2010

Have you had a tickle fight today?

DateWednesday, March 10, 2010 at 07:13AM

Glenn Beck interviews Eric Massa, and boy does it go wrong.

Here the recently resigned congressmen explains how engaging in tickle fights with male staffers is prim and proper:

"Now they're saying I groped a male staffer," he volunteered. "Yeah, I did. Not only did I grope him, I tickled him until he couldn't breathe and then four guys jumped on top of me. It was my 50th birthday."

Beck looked aghast. "Was your wife at that one?" the Fox News Channel host asked.

"No, this was in a townhouse; we all lived together, all the bachelors and me," Massa explained. "My chief of staff had a conniption and said, 'You can't live there, that's not congressional.' "

Beck tried to move the conversation in a different direction, but his guest resisted. "Let me show you something," Massa proposed, proffering a book with photos of bawdy Navy rituals from the days when he was a sailor.

"You're going to show me tickle fights?" Beck inquired.

"I'm going to show you a lot more than tickle fights," Massa promised. Beck put on his reading glasses, then judged that the images should not be shown on television. "It looks like an orgy in 'Caligula,' " Massa asserted.


AuthorAl Walentis | Comment2 Comments |
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Wednesday
10Mar2010

Tom Caltagirone gets another free ride in 2010 election

DateWednesday, March 10, 2010 at 06:47AM

Yep, the golden boy has no challengers, neither in the primary nor the general. Again. You can access a complete list of all candidates, statewide, here.

AuthorAl Walentis | CommentPost a Comment |
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Tuesday
09Mar2010

If Monk's Cafe Sour Flemish Red Ale is outlawed only outlaws will drink Monk's Cafe Sour Flemish Red Ale

DateTuesday, March 9, 2010 at 07:03PM

The PLCB gets real anal:

More than a dozen armed State Police officers conducted simultaneous raids last week on three popular Philadelphia bars known for their wide beer selections. The cops confiscated hundreds of bottles of expensive ales and lagers, now in State Police custody at an undisclosed location.

The alleged offense: Although the bar owners had bought the beer legally from licensed Pennsylvania distributors and had paid all the necessary taxes, the police claimed that nobody had registered the precise names of the beers with the state Liquor Control Board - a process that requires the brewers or their importers to pay a $75 registration fee for each product they want to sell in Pennsylvania.....

For instance, the cops grabbed Monk's Cafe Sour Flemish Red Ale.

The beer has been sold throughout the state at dozens of restaurants and distributors for the last seven years. The brand appears on the state's online list as "Monk's Café Ale." It's on tap seven days a week at the Center City bar after which it was named: Monk's Cafe, at 16th and Spruce streets.

But that wasn't enough to keep the State Police from confiscating 20 bottles and three kegs of the supposedly illegal ale at  three bars run by Maida and Hartranft.

AuthorAl Walentis | Comment1 Comment |
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Tuesday
09Mar2010

Whatever

DateTuesday, March 9, 2010 at 06:58PM

AuthorAl Walentis | Comment7 Comments |
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Tuesday
09Mar2010

Nancy Pelosi is looking a lot like Vampira these days

DateTuesday, March 9, 2010 at 01:30PM

At least when they Photoshop her on the Drudge Report.

AuthorAl Walentis | Comment9 Comments |
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