Pesty Artist now will redirect you to the Wu Tang Clan name generator

Every wonder what your ideal stage name would be as a rap artist? Wonder no more. Enter your name in the Wu Tang Clan automatic rap name generator and find out in a (heart)beat.  

Your friendly neighborhood blogger has been rechristened, if that isn the correct verb, Pesty Artist. And in case you are wondering, which you should not be, Donald Trump is President Agent Orange.

 

Write your own instant Donald Trump song or short story or screenplay (yes, you can!)

Here's a fun sandbox you can play in all day.

It's called the Plot Generator, simple enough, and its algorithms let you craft short fiction or songs lyrics, in a variety of styles, in no time flat. Here's what the interface looks like:

After clicking song lyrics generator, I selected summertime song and filled in the text fields. (It's a long list, so a few at the bottom are cut off in this screen grab.)

And here is the result:

Catchy as hell, huh?

Can't wait to get started next on a work of horror fiction.

 

 

 

Jon Gosselin will pump up runners, itching to land a gig with Beats 1 radio

Se what has Berks County's most famous celebrity DJ been up to lately?

Giving back, giving back to the community, because his heart is as wide as all outdoors:

Unanswered questions: Can this be the springboard to Jon Gosselin joining the Beat  1 team at the new Apple Music? Will inveterate runner Kate be in the fashionista field? Will Jon pump her up before during or after the race? Will the TLC crews be there to chronicle the action, perhaps via a drone's-eye view?

One can only wait and wonder.

Kate Gosselin (could be) hopping mad that drones are buzzing her South Heidelberg property

From today's morning paper comes this vague item, because the morning paper is nothing if not vague (but surely experts at posting duplicate datelines):

South Heidelberg Township, Pa. S. HEIDELBERG TWP. - The South Heidelberg Township supervisors have agreed to research a possible ordinance to prohibit the flying of drones above private properties without the permission of owners.

Ronald R. Seaman, township manager, said Thursday that a resident had strongly complained about drone overflights.

Whomever might that resident be? Is there anybody living in those parts who might be victim to paparazzi armed with the latest technology?

Just asking.

Erratum: Casa de la Gosselin is within the borders of Lower Heidelberg, so maybe the pap have hit the wrong property.

Jon Gosselin, who can't hold a job, thought he could live in a $290,000 house (guess how that worked out)

Oh, the sadness, the heartbreak!

Washed-up reality-TV dad Jon Gosselin have been keeping his nose clean out recently, plugging away at some credit card company, trying to scrounge some cash from Kate from her upcoming TV appearance.

Then the boom dropped.

Star has the inside skinny:

In December 2013, the dad of eight found the home of his dreams, conveniently located near ex Kate Gosselin’s property where his children permanently reside. At the time, he agreed to the terms of a rent to own lease agreement for the $299,000 property.

“Jon didn’t understand the terms of the contract and broke the lease, thinking he could just rent the property after agreeing to the rent to own the contractual agreement,” a source tells Star. “Evidently, he didn’t understand the terms of the contract.”

Since June, Jon has failed to come up with payments, and bounced multiple checks. He recently claimed he was still working with his bank to come up with a loan to pay back what he owed the owners, and hoped to continue living in the residence. “He acted like he had all this money,” the insider adds. “The owners tried to work with him, and he’d get cocky and claim he could easily pay for the house in cash.”

Added E!:

"The job at the credit card company he was working for didn't pan out. The anticipated income wasn't there and the situation deteriorated."

Jon hasn't (as of now) joined the ranks of funk legend Sly Stone and (the movieland) Richard Gere, but finding a place to park his eight youngsters has proven daunting:

"The saddest part of it is he now has nowhere to take the kids. He's not allowed at the house, so he was taking them to his old apartment. But the new one is too small for eight children. It's heartbreaking."

Heartbreaking indeed.

Cannot another credit-card company cut the poor guy some slack? (M&T? Santander?) And is not tattletale author Robert Hoffman paying Jon any royalties for the book Robert wrote based on scandalous docs leaked by Jon?

I smell another lawsuit brewing.

Until then, throw money. And maybe you should cut down on the smokes, Jon.

Read "The Secret World of Jon and Kate: The Stupidest Story in the History of the Universe and the People Who Covered It" right now on your tablet