The BEST words

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History lesson courtesy of Donald J. Trump, regarding Honest Abe's Gettysburg Address : 

Lincoln was “ridiculed” after giving the speech by the “fake news” of the time. But, Trump added: “Fifty years after his death they said it may have been the greatest speech ever made in America. Pretty good. Pretty good. I have a feeling that’s going to happen with us.”

Here, then, via Rex Huppke in the Chicago Tribune is Honest Donald's own Gettysburg Address:

Forty tweets and seven “Fox and Friends” episodes ago, Sean Hannity brought up a really great point about my Electoral College win. It was so huge. Really, nobody has ever seen such a massive win, and they said it couldn’t be done. Couldn’t be done. But I did it.

And Hannity — how much do we love Sean Hannity, really? He does such a fantastic job, nobody better. And Hannity said my huge Electoral College win, which they say was the biggest ever, was dedicated to all of you, the forgotten men and women of America. Don’t we love America? Don’t we love our flag? And Merry Christmas. People are saying Merry Christmas again. Nobody was saying it before. Nobody said it!

So we are dedicated to the proposition that all men — and women, don’t forget the women. The women love me so much. I won big with the women. The women love Trump.

The proposition that all — I’m just going to say “all,” otherwise the Fake News will call me sexist or make up some other lies. That’s all they do. You see them back there. Just the worst, most disgusting people you’ll ever meet. Not all of them, but really all of them. Terrible. Enemies of the people.

Click here to read the rest, but don't wet yourself! 

Donald J. trump is tickled orange that Peter Barbey shut down the fakest newspaper in New York City, after the New York Times

Donald Trump can find a lot to adore in Peter Barbey. Like Trump, Barbey is a reputed billionaire whose fortune landed on him by virtue of the fortuitousness of his birth. Barbey mirrors Trump's belligerence toward the working folk, particularly card-carrying union members. And when it comes to merging business sense with scam artistry, Trump and Barbey share a key affinity for taking something of value and turning it into shit.

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Barbey is best known in this parts as the mite media mogul who assumed the reins of Reading Eagle Company after the previous management team ran it into the dirt. But little Petey's vision extended beyond the boundaries of Berks. In 2015 he used some of the wealth his ancestors bequeathed him to buy the Village Voice, vowing through clenched teeth that the storied alternative weekly would "survive and prosper." He cemented this commitment to his new toy by purchasing a $26-million condo in the heart of the West Village.

Prince Peter's journalistic instincts revved to full throttle less than two years later when he shut down the Voice's print edition, boasting that an online-only Voice would reflect "the ever-evolving world around it.. for a new generation of people — and for generations to come."

 For another 12 months anyway.

On Friday, which he lamented as "kind of a sucky day," Citizen Barbey concluded that his fortune can be put to better use than maintaining the tradition of a paper co-founded by Norman Mailer, whose pages were once graced with the legendary prose of Ezra Pound, Henry Miller, Norman Mailer, Jack Newfield, Robert Christgau, Andrew Sarris, Lester Bangs...and on and on. Hiring staff to spiff up a $26-million condo can be quite dear!

Here's Jenna Priest, Reading Eagle Company's human services boss, shooing shellshocked staffers off the premises Friday.

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Let's hear one of the laid-off staffers, Harry Siegel, tell it:

But fear not! While “due to, basically, business realities, we're going to stop publishing Village Voice new material,” Barbey vows that the brand will live on.

"I bought the Village Voice to save it, this isn't exactly how I thought it was going to end up. I'm still trying to save the Village Voice," he said.

Look, the paper’s problems preceded him and maybe his mid-life crisis dream of resurrecting a brand of his own kept the Voice alive a little longer and paid for Aaron Gordon and Talia Lavin and others to do some fine work there in its final days.

That said, fuck Peter D. Barbey.

Today, Peter D. Barbey is the toast of Gotham.

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Perhaps publisher Petey, who once said that running a newspaper is "an obligation and a privilege at the same time," was playing 12-dimensional bridge all along.  Instead of preserving the legacy of the "dropouts and the beatniks and the aesthetes and the outsiders" who made the Voice such a lower Manhattan institution over half a century, maybe his game all along was to shutter the paper as a bastion of fresh journalism and instead cash in on the trove of classic writing by the giants of the Fourth Estate penned when Peter was just a pipsqueak in prep school. Sounds like a plan.

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The Village Voice is dead. The Reading Eagle lives. For those staffers , sucky days may lie ahead.